Welcome everyone! I'm excited to embark down a new path of creativity where together we will learn how to get our lives "unstuck." We'll learn that getting unstuck means removing the often "self imposed" limitations we experience in the areas of our lives that frustrate us. It doesn't matter whether it's work, relationships, or finances, our old and ingrained patterns of behavior stem from our perceptions and beliefs. We believe our choices are limited to the ones we've always had or always made, not realizing there are infinite possibilities available to us.
I don't know about you, but I've been stuck many times in my life. It usually seemed to work itself out, but never to my expectations. Other than the details, many of us have the same wish; to lead a happy and fulfilling life. But, how can we be happy and fulfilled if we are constantly getting stuck in different areas of our lives. We may be doing well financially, but our relationships suck, or vice versa. We work every day at a job that we hate just to bring home the bacon. How could that ever even begin to fill us with the creativity to become unstuck?
Lest you feel you're alone in thinking this way, let me assure you that that the research I've conducted has indicated that "everyone" has felt stuck at one time or another and mainly due to relationship, work, or financial issues. And since the ever increasingly complex world we live in seems to accentuate that, let's start with a very simple statement that is, and has been throughout time, true:
The way I think causes the way I feel,
The way I feel causes the way I act,
The way I act gives me the results I get in my life.
Your task is to write this last statement down and read it to yourself when you feel any type of challenge approaching. This will help you think, feel, and act in a new way that reflects what will make you truly feel fulfilled. And when you act in a "new" way, you will get "new" results.
Step 2 - Getting Unstuck in Our Minds.
In Part 1 we learned that despite our best efforts, sometimes we find ourselves stuck in a situation that just seems to perpetuate itself and we just can't break free from it.
In this second step of "Getting Unstuck - Re-igniting Your Life," we'll learn what this stuckness is, why we get stuck, and what we can do about it.
Do you ever find yourself repeating the same actions, words, opinions and phrases over and over again? Well, that's your stuckness speaking! When you find yourself in that "automatic" mode where you're just blindly repeating programmed and learned behaviour, stop yourself. Just become quiet for a moment and realize and reflect on what you just said or did. These are the moments that we learn how much of our thinking and doing is actually done subconsciously.
Your subconscious mind is like a tape recorder. It's been recording all that has gone on around you since the day you were born. It's the reason we become like the people we hang around with the most. So when you're not actually consciously thinking or working on something, your subconscious mind takes over and starts replaying the tape. Replaying all the sayings, opinions, phrases, jokes, and actions that it has heard others do. As you've undoubtedly just realized, this may not be a good thing!
So who is actually saying and doing these things? Is it the real me? Is this the person I wish for people to see? Becoming unstuck frequently means getting in touch with your real-self in the "Now" moment. This means allowing yourself to connect with the creative energy that always flows within you and then almost like "magic," you'll begin to experience the great potential we all have for change in ways you just can't even imagine. As you open up to this powerful vibration of infinite possibilities, life just seems to open up wider and deeper, with more wonder and beauty. The present moment is never "stuck." This is where we make the choices that actually matter, and it's this present moment, the "now" moment, that can shift us and get us unstuck.
When we become distracted, new solutions for problems can't be found. We are not in our calm centered place, the present moment, that the world's meditation practices teach us. These teachings teach us how to identify when we feel calm and centered, but you can recreate the same state of awareness anytime you want.
Anytime you realize you're not centered in the present moment, take a moment to reset yourself and do the following:
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths,
When you feel settled, open your eyes.
The next thing you see, is in the "now," and nowhere else. Even if what you see causes a reaction, before you react, simply remain in contact with the present moment. You are now "unstuck" The challenge is that going back to being "stuck" can happen very quickly. When old thoughts and stubborn conditioning returns, so does the stuckness.
A good way to be aware of this happening is to notice when you repeat yourself. If you repeat the same words, opinions, likes, dislikes and emotional reactions, that is your stuckness speaking once again. Fortunately it's easy to feel when your "unstuck" because you will feel fresh, happy, renewed, and worry free. This is the feeling, or way of being, you will want to try and maximize.
You will start to realize when you are consistently becoming "unstuck" because you will sense you are on your way to becoming the person you really want to be, and doing what you really want to do, not following other people's programs.
Now that you have a few tools at your disposal, your task today is to notice when you are "stuck" and then perform the simple reset (mini-meditation) procedure we talked about earlier. Have a look at a clock or set the stop-watch on your phone and see how long you can go before noticing old programs returning. This is the point where you are becoming "stuck" again. Keep track of your best times and see how they increase over the rest of the week.
Step 3 - Getting Unstuck in Relationships.
In this 3rd installment of "Getting Unstuck - Reigniting Your Life," we're going to plow straight ahead into one of the most contentious issues that people deal with, and that is, relationships.
We all have them, whether you're talking about the ones with our family, co-workers, or romantic partners. Every single interaction with another life form can be classified as a relationship. So why are they so difficult to maintain, what constitutes a good one, and how do I have a great one? Today we'll answer all those questions and more.
I've heard it said that all relationships are, is two people learning how to trust each other. That may be part of it, but certainly doesn't go deep enough, so strap on your scuba tank because we're going deep, right now.
When human love relationships fail, they fail because they were entered into for the wrong reasons, meaning not wholly beneficial or conducive to their survival. Most people enter into relationships with an eye toward what they can get out of them, instead of what they can put in them. There can be only one purpose for relationships, and for all of life for that matter: to be and to decide, "who" You really are. You need to decide what part of yourself you'd like to see "show up," not what part of another you can capture and hold.
It's very romantic to say that now that your special other has entered your life, you feel complete. Yet the purpose of relationship is not to have someone that completes you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. It doesn't matter what the other is doing, thinking or planning, it only matters what you are being in relationship to that. You see, it's all about you. If you can't love yourself, you can't love another and you certainly won't find your love in them. Many people make the mistake of seeking love of Self through love for someone else.
Remember that everything you think, say, or do is a reflection of what you have decided about yourself; a statement of who You are. The first question to ask yourself then, when entering a relationship is always: What do I want here? Not: What does the other person want here? The reason your relationships are in such a mess is because your always trying to figure out what other people want, instead of what you truly want. Then you have to decide whether to give it to them, or not.
Then, in order to decide this, you have to decide yourself if perhaps there's something you want from them, which could be affection, sex, money, security etc. If there is something you want from them then your survival mode kicks in and you try to give them what they want, so you can get what you want. This is a very delicate game of "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine," and it may work for a while, or perhaps work with one of your co-workers, but in a romantic relationship it's just one long downward spiral that will leave you cold, old, and bitter in the end.
This is what I've learned on my journey. The purpose of all human relationships, as well as relationships between every other person, place, or thing, is not to figure out what "they" want or need, but what "you" require, or desire now, in order to grow. In order to be who you want to Be.
When viewed this way, relationships are not something we need to be "locked" into for all of time, rather, they can come and go in peace as we grow and learn Who we truly are. Relationships shouldn't be measured by how long we we're in them, but by the quality of the time we spent learning and growing about each other along the way.
Your task is to examine all of your relationships to see if they are serving and completing you. If they are, wonderful! If not, there needs to be some communication to help you create the relationship that "You" want, and "They" want. Working together to get it right can be so satisfying.
* This dialogue is meant for spiritual guidance only and is not to be construed as professional relationship advice. Always seek the advice of a professional counselor before making life changing relationship decisions.
Step 4 - Getting Unstuck at Work.
In this fourth installment of "Getting Unstuck - Reigniting Your Life," we will exam some of the most common things that keep us "stuck" while at work. Since many of us spend a third of our lives at work, not feeling fulfilled in this area of our lives can cause a lot of stress and frustration.
There are really only four ways of generating income:
1. Employee - Has a job, exchanges time for money
2. Self-Employed - Owns a job, exchanges time for money
3. Business person - Owns a system, exchanges value for money
4. Investor - Has money working for them
In a recent worldwide study done by the Gallup polling organization, they found that there are twice as many people who dislike their jobs, versus people that like their jobs. And since the majority of the world's workers are employees, that's what we'll focus on here.
For the bulk of my life I've been an employee so I know exactly how many of you feel. We go to a job we hate, to make money to spend on things we don't really need, and then need to go back to work again, to earn some more money. Now don't get me wrong, I know you are spending money on many things you need, especially if you have children, but the advertising world keeps bombarding us with ads that tell us we won't feel good unless we buy their product. And for the most part it works. Well, the buying part, not the feel good part that is.
So how can we ever attain that feeling of fulfillment? That feeling that we have performed a valuable service and have been fairly compensated? Each of us has two choices: to live our lives by design, or by default; to live intentionally, or by accident. Successful people actively create their lives while others are created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life will take them next. If you're in the latter of those two groups right now that's OK, I'm going to give you a few suggestions to help you take more control of your work life.
First of all, never, ever feel like you have no chance to advance in your work, even if you are working where the wages are small and the cost of living high. Even though you may hate your job now, it's the one you presently have so that's where you'll have to start. To succeed in this you'll need to adopt a positive attitude and good work ethic.
Step 1 - Do all the work you can do every day, and do each piece of work in a perfectly successful manner. Caveat: Don't try to do more than fill your present role with a plan on pleasing your employer; do it with an idea of advancing yourself.
Step 2 - Concentrate on being creative instead of competitive. Create new ways of thinking about your job and being more productive. Don't bother with what your co-workers are up to, be concerned with your work.
Step 3 - Visualize the new position or job you wish to attain. 5-10 minutes every day is all it takes. Visualize yourself working in your new digs and talking with your new co-workers. Feel what it would be like, smell the smells of your new environment.
Once you have that vision, keep being the best you can possibly be at your present position and soon your employer, and others will notice that you have become too "big" for your present position. This will prompt your present employer to find you a new position or other employers will notice your confidence and get the overall feeling of "advancement" from you when you do decide to apply elsewhere.
There is nothing in your current circumstances or the business you are currently in that can keep you down, or hold you back. If you do all you can do every day at your present position, concentrate on being creative instead of competitive, and visualize the position you want, you will succeed. Whether it's at what you do now, or at something new, you will succeed.
I am living proof this method works. I was sick and tired of the job I was in and decided to do something about it. Actually, I've used the three steps listed above a few times now, and they have never failed me.
If your feeling "stuck" in your present position at work, give these steps a try. It worked for me, and I know it will work for you.
Your task is to write the numbers 1 through 10 horizontally across a piece of paper. Example;
This will be your "happiness" rating of your present employment. Circle the number you feel represents how happy you are with your current employment, 1 being the least happy, and 10 being the most happy. Be honest with yourself, this is no time to fudge the numbers. If you are a 9 or 10, you don't need my help, you are already awesome!
If you are anything less than that (especially 5 or under), you are still awesome, but should seriously think about adopting the system I laid out above.
Getting Unstuck - Reigniting Your Life with Money.
Welcome to the fifth and final installment of "Getting Unstuck - Reigniting Your Life." So far we've covered what getting "unstuck" means, why we get "stuck", how to get "unstuck" in relationships, how to get "unstuck" at work, and today we'll finish off with how to get "unstuck" financially. OK, this is a big topic so let's get started.
A study I read a couple of years ago said that if you took all the money in the world and divided it equally among the 7 billion people in the world, in just 3 years time the same people would once again have all the money. How could this be you ask? Because people that are wealthy do very specific things with their money, and people who aren't wealthy, also do very specific things with their money.
It has nothing to do with how much money you make, but everything to do with your plan. Don't have a plan? Don't worry, we'll get to that. Another study I read recently said that in North America at the age of 65, 1% of the population is wealthy, 4% are financially independent, 5% are still working, 36% are dead, and 54% are dead broke. In one of the richest societies in the world! How could this possibly happen? Because most of us don't have a plan!
You see, the poor and middle class work for money, and the wealthy have money work for them. Anyone can become wealthy if they follow a sound, long-term plan. The challenge is that instant gratification is killing our dreams. Here's most people's financial plan:
Work - Save a little,
Work - Save a little,
Work - Save a little,
Spend! Spend! Spend! Stuckness, Stuckness, Stuckness!
We save some money, but it doesn't take long and we spend it on a want! We want something NOW, so we buy it. Instant gratification.
To help you get "Unstuck," I've put together a 5 step financial plan that has worked for me.
Step 1 - Set up your accounts.
If you are an employee your going to need five accounts with your financial institution. Yes, I said 5. They are as follows:
Personal operating account - money to run your life
Charity account - giving starts the receiving process
Security account - No risk, low return investment
Growth account - Higher risk, higher return account
Fun account - Vacations, 2nd cars, what ever you want!
Step 2 - Divide your income.
This step is crucial to your success and the amounts can vary, but you must always put something into each account every payday. I would suggest splitting it up this way to start:
Personal account - 80% of your pay
Charity account - 5%
Security account - 5%
Growth account - 5%
Fun account - 5%
So if you had an annual income of $50,000.00 ($4,167.00 monthly) you would put 80% or $40,000 annually ($3,334 monthly) into your personal account. This leaves you with $10,000 to split evenly between the four other accounts, which is $2,500.00 each annually ($208.34 monthly) into Charity, Security, Growth and Fun.
Now before you get all up tight and say, "I can't live on that!," remember that these amounts are all flexible. You can always change your amounts to 90% into Personal, 2.5% in the other accounts, or even just 1% in the other accounts and 94% into your Personal account. You decide, but the key here is that you always put SOME money away. It has to become a habit. If your not disciplined enough, have this set up automatically at your financial institution.
Step 3 - Redistribute your profit.
Now here's the beauty of this system! Quarterly, bi-yearly, or yearly, you decide, take the money you made in your growth account, and divide it equally into your Security and Fun accounts. So if you made $1000.00 profit, put $500.00 in Security and $500.00 into Fun!
Step 4 - Measure monthly profit and losses.
Review a personal profit and loss statement and net worth statement monthly. I know this one's hard, because most of us don't really want to know this info, but what can be measured, can be improved. If you don't know where you stand how can you make good decisions.
Step 5 - Educate yourself.
Take the time to study what you are investing in. "That's what the financial adviser is for," you say. And you'd be right, but I tend to only invest in what I understand. If you want to invest in stocks, learn about the stock market. If you want to invest in Real Estate, learn about Real Estate. Simple as that.
This is a simple system that anyone can follow. If you're self-employed or a business person, you may want to add two more accounts. A Professional account with money to run your business, and an Income Tax account to pay "the man." That gives you a total of seven (7) accounts. Split up the funds as you see fit, but never spend your personal money on your business, and vice versa.
Needless to say that you should always, and I highly recommend that you do, seek out good financial, insurance, and tax advice when setting up a system like this.
Well that sums up the system to help you get "unstuck" financially and remember, it's not a get rich quick deal. Be patient; wealth is like a tree, it grows from a small seed.
If you've read this far, congratulations! You're already well on your way to getting your life "unstuck."
You've been listening to the Soul Mechanic, and it's been my absolute pleasure to serve you. Sending you Love, Happiness, and Abundance. Now, and always.
Bye for now!
* Legal Stuff: This 5 Step financial plan has worked for the author, but no guarantee is made or implied that you will see the same, or any results at all.