Getting Unstuck - Reigniting Your Life.
Good morning! In this 3rd installment of Getting Unstuck - Reigniting Your Life, we're going to plow straight ahead into one of the most contentious issues that people deal with, and that is, relationships.
We all have them, whether you're talking about the ones with our family, co-workers, or romantic partners. Every single interaction with another life form can be classified as a relationship. So why are they so difficult to maintain, what constitutes a good one, and how do I have a great one? Today we'll answer all those questions and more.
I've heard it said that all relationships are is two people learning how to trust each other. That may be part of it, but certainly doesn't go deep enough, so strap on your scuba tank because we're going deep, right now.
When human love relationships fail, they fail because they were entered into for the wrong reasons, meaning not wholly beneficial or conducive to their survival. Most people enter into relationships with an eye toward what they can get out of them, instead of what they can put in them. There can be only one purpose for relationships (and for all of life for that matter): to be and to decide, Who You really are. You need to decide what part of yourself you'd like to see "show up," not what part of another you can capture and hold.
It's very romantic to say that now that your special other has entered your life, you feel complete. Yet the purpose of relationship is not to have someone that completes you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. It doesn't matter what the other is doing, thinking or planning, it only matters what you are being in relationship to that. You see, it's all about you. If you can't love yourself, you can't love another and you certainly won't find your love in them. Many people make the mistake of seeking love of Self "through" love for someone else.
Remember that everything you think, say, or do is a reflection of what you have decided about yourself; a statement of Who You are. The first question to ask yourself then when entering a relationship is always: What do I want here? Not: What does the other person want here? The reason your relationships are in such a mess is because your always trying to figure out what other people want, instead of what you truly want. Then you have to decide whether to give it to them, or not. Then, in order to decide this, you have to decide yourself if perhaps there's something you want from them, which could be affection, sex, money, security etc. if there is something you want from them then your survival mode kicks in and you try to give them what they want, so you can get what you want. This is a very delicate game of "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine," and it may work for a while, or perhaps work with one of your co-workers, but in a romantic relationship it's just one long downward spiral that will leave you cold, old, and bitter in the end.
This is what I've learned on my journey. The purpose of all human relationships, as well as relationships between every other person, place, or thing, is not to figure out what "they" want or need, but what "you" require, or desire now, in order to grow. In order to be Who you want to Be.
When viewed this way, relationships are not something we need to be "locked" into for all of time, rather, they can come and go in peace as we grow and learn Who we truly are. Relationships shouldn't be measured by how long we we're in them, but by the quality of the time we spent learning and growing about each other along the way.
Your task today is to examine all of your relationships to see if they are serving and completing you. If they are, wonderful! If not, there needs to be some communication to help you create the relationship that "You" want, and "They" want. Working together to get it right can be so satisfying.
You've been listening to the Soul Mechanic and as always it has been my pleasure to serve you. Sending you Love, Happiness, and Abundance.
See you tomorrow!
* This dialogue is meant for spiritual guidance only and is not to be construed as professional relationship advice. Always seek the advice of a professional counsellor before making life changing relationship decisions.
Good morning! In this 3rd installment of Getting Unstuck - Reigniting Your Life, we're going to plow straight ahead into one of the most contentious issues that people deal with, and that is, relationships.
We all have them, whether you're talking about the ones with our family, co-workers, or romantic partners. Every single interaction with another life form can be classified as a relationship. So why are they so difficult to maintain, what constitutes a good one, and how do I have a great one? Today we'll answer all those questions and more.
I've heard it said that all relationships are is two people learning how to trust each other. That may be part of it, but certainly doesn't go deep enough, so strap on your scuba tank because we're going deep, right now.
When human love relationships fail, they fail because they were entered into for the wrong reasons, meaning not wholly beneficial or conducive to their survival. Most people enter into relationships with an eye toward what they can get out of them, instead of what they can put in them. There can be only one purpose for relationships (and for all of life for that matter): to be and to decide, Who You really are. You need to decide what part of yourself you'd like to see "show up," not what part of another you can capture and hold.
It's very romantic to say that now that your special other has entered your life, you feel complete. Yet the purpose of relationship is not to have someone that completes you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. It doesn't matter what the other is doing, thinking or planning, it only matters what you are being in relationship to that. You see, it's all about you. If you can't love yourself, you can't love another and you certainly won't find your love in them. Many people make the mistake of seeking love of Self "through" love for someone else.
Remember that everything you think, say, or do is a reflection of what you have decided about yourself; a statement of Who You are. The first question to ask yourself then when entering a relationship is always: What do I want here? Not: What does the other person want here? The reason your relationships are in such a mess is because your always trying to figure out what other people want, instead of what you truly want. Then you have to decide whether to give it to them, or not. Then, in order to decide this, you have to decide yourself if perhaps there's something you want from them, which could be affection, sex, money, security etc. if there is something you want from them then your survival mode kicks in and you try to give them what they want, so you can get what you want. This is a very delicate game of "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine," and it may work for a while, or perhaps work with one of your co-workers, but in a romantic relationship it's just one long downward spiral that will leave you cold, old, and bitter in the end.
This is what I've learned on my journey. The purpose of all human relationships, as well as relationships between every other person, place, or thing, is not to figure out what "they" want or need, but what "you" require, or desire now, in order to grow. In order to be Who you want to Be.
When viewed this way, relationships are not something we need to be "locked" into for all of time, rather, they can come and go in peace as we grow and learn Who we truly are. Relationships shouldn't be measured by how long we we're in them, but by the quality of the time we spent learning and growing about each other along the way.
Your task today is to examine all of your relationships to see if they are serving and completing you. If they are, wonderful! If not, there needs to be some communication to help you create the relationship that "You" want, and "They" want. Working together to get it right can be so satisfying.
You've been listening to the Soul Mechanic and as always it has been my pleasure to serve you. Sending you Love, Happiness, and Abundance.
See you tomorrow!
* This dialogue is meant for spiritual guidance only and is not to be construed as professional relationship advice. Always seek the advice of a professional counsellor before making life changing relationship decisions.
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